May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but for many women, mental health isn’t just a "month" to acknowledge. 

It's a daily battle, often fought in silence. It’s the quiet suffering behind a smiling face. It’s the private breakdown after holding it all together for everyone else.

For me, mental health is deeply personal.
It’s depression that nearly broke me.
It’s watching my daughter survive a suicide attempt and still struggle with anxiety and depression.
It’s supporting my eldest son through addiction and ADHD.
It was learning about BPD when my youngest son was diagnosed.

Mental health isn’t an abstract issue,  it’s woven into the fabric of my BEing.

THE TRUTH THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

Here’s the uncomfortable reality:
Women are taught to be everything for everyone,  except themselves.

We are expected to be:

• Nurturers but not needy.

• Supportive but not “too emotional.”

• Resilient but never "dramatic."

We carry the mental loads of our families, our jobs, our friends,  and somewhere along the way, our own needs get buried under guilt and shame.

"We live in a culture that sees women’s emotional labor as both an expectation and an inconvenience."  Brené Brown

When a woman breaks down, society whispers, “What’s wrong with her?”
When a man breaks down, society says, “He must be under a lot of pressure.”

We applaud men's vulnerability while questioning women’s stability.

Do you see the double standard?

Enough of that.

LIVING WITH DEPRESSION: NOT LETTING IT DEFINE ME

My struggle with depression began back in 1990, and it’s been a part of my life ever since.
Some people assume depression is a temporary season, something you "get over" like a bad cold. But for me, and for many women I know, it's a daily reality that requires awareness, support, and work.
Yes, medications have helped, and truthfully, I don’t know if I could have made it through some of the darkest times in my life without them. They gave me the stability to do the deeper work, to function, to survive.

But meds alone aren’t magic.
What helps me stay on the other side of the deep depression is the way I now care for myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s asking the right questions.
Every day, I choose to get out of bed and do what I can to make it a good day.
That doesn’t mean every day is good. But it means I’m in the driver’s seat.

“I have depression, but it does not have me.”

I refuse to let depression become my identity. Labels are not something I choose to use! I am not a depressed woman.

I am a woman who lives with depression. And that distinction matters.

I’ve learned to check in with myself by asking:

• Why am I feeling like this today?

• Where is this coming from?

• Do I need rest? Do I need connection?

• Do I need to talk to someone I trust?

• What choice will support me best right now?

Asking these questions gives me clarity and helps me meet myself with compassion, instead of judgment.

Because at the end of the day, we all have a choice in how we deal.
And every day I choose to honor myself, to give myself what I need, and to remember:
I am not broken.
I am human.
And healing is a daily act of courage.

MY FAMILY'S MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY

Watching my daughter wrestle with anxiety and depression and nearly lose that battle in high school. My heart cracked wide open. No amount of love could erase the chemical imbalances in her brain. No amount of mothering could "fix" it.
Love alone isn’t enough.
We needed professional help. Coaching. Therapy. Medication. Hard conversations.

My oldest son turned to drugs to self-medicate, desperately trying to quiet the chaos inside his mind. Addiction wasn’t about "bad choices"; it was about untreated pain. It was about a system that fails our kids, labeling them as "problems" instead of offering real support. He was also diagnosed with ADHD.

And my youngest son's diagnosis with Borderline Personality Disorder challenged everything I thought I knew about parenting. BPD is often misunderstood; people with it are painted as “too much,” “manipulative,” “unstable.”
But the truth?
They are some of the most deeply feeling, empathetic souls, trapped in an emotional rollercoaster they didn’t ask for.

"Mental health problems do not define who you are. They are something you experience. You walk in the rain and you feel the rain, but, importantly, YOU ARE NOT THE RAIN."   

- Matt Haig

THE PROBLEM WITH 'POSITIVE VIBES ONLY' CULTURE

Another controversial truth:

Toxic positivity is hurting women.

Telling someone to "just think happy thoughts" when they are battling depression is like telling someone with a broken leg to "just walk it off."

Mental health needs validation, not dismissal.
Healing requires space for pain, not a forced smile.

We need to stop punishing women for feeling deeply. We need to start honoring the full spectrum of human emotion:  the messy, the painful, the uncomfortable.

We GET to go through all of the emotions. The key is to GET THROUGH THEM! Feel, touch, and allow yourself all of them; good and bad feelings need to BE felt.

"Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones." 

- Glennon Doyle

WHAT I'VE LEARNT (AND KEEP LEARNING)

• Asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom.

• Medication is not a moral failure.

• Boundaries are lifesaving.

• You are not your diagnosis.

• Healing is not linear. (Progress looks like a heartbeat — up and down, not a straight line.)

If you're a woman battling your own storm, depression, anxiety, addiction, trauma, grief,  hear me loud and clear:

You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are fighting battles most people will never even see.
And you are stronger than you know.

LIVING HOW WE MOVE FORWARD

This Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m not just lighting a candle or posting a graphic.
I’m sharing my story.
I’m standing in the mess.
I’m inviting you to stand with me.

Let’s BE together!

Together, we can:

• Normalize therapy and mental health treatment.

• Smash the stigma around medication.

• Refuse to shame ourselves for needing help.

• Create safe spaces for honest conversations.

Mental health isn’t a luxury. It’s survival.

And you, my BEautiful, messy, brilliant sister,  you deserve to survive.
You deserve to thrive. You deserve to BE all you can BE!

You are not alone.

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