November.1.2024
As the days get shorter and the nights get longer we seem to lose precious time and getting through our self-imposed to-do list can be a little more than overwhelming and dare I say… CHAOTIC! It often seems that despite our best efforts, the holidays arrive out of nowhere and we can often find ourselves stuck in the air of ‘notenoughness’. That uncomfortable place where we wonder if we have done enough, if we have done too much or possibly dropped the ball all together. The key to being present over the holidays is planning ahead in the time that leads up, so as we embrace proactive planning we can also reap the rewards and fully enjoy ourselves when the holiday season inevitably arrives.
I know, I know, it’s only the first few days of November, however, it is in the NOW, where we are able to cultivate the space for future enjoyment - so take a deep breath because we GET to talk about how to do it differently this year!
Let’s start a new tradition!
Today I am feeling inspired to get a bit of a jump on things this year. In addition, I think some reframing of common holiday struggles will help me to shift how I not only approach them but also the energy I let them carry. With that, I'm thinking - why not share and let you in on it! Let’s get confident together on the magic of holiday planning and learn to not only enjoy it but replace that Christmas chaos with Christmas calm.
I used to take down my fall decorations the day after Halloween and get right into decorating for Christmas. But since I lost my parents a couple of years ago, I have pulled back on all the decorating I once did. It was my Mom's favourite thing to do, decorating for each and every holiday & I mean evvvvvvery hoooooooliday!!!As my grandchildren grow, I want them to share in some of the same memories and traditions that my kids and I had growing up. The reliable comfort and nostalgia that traditions offer are second to none as they link generations with generations like hand-stitched popcorn garland. This year, I begin the coordinated and well considered tradition of being my best self from start to finish of the holiday season. Planning ahead, reducing stress, focusing on what's truly important and remembering that it’s more about the who than the what over the holidays that is truly important! And when I speak to the who, of course I mean the family we surround ourselves with but also the version of me I GET to show up as for those that I love. It may seem to be easier said than done, but I promise, it isn't! We all know how easy it is to get buried in tasks and the associated stresses of the holidays.
Here are some topics we will be considering as we move towards our holiday planning from a place of calm over chaos, all of which share an undercurrent of tapping into a little extra financial wiggle room for the holidays:
1. Gifts vs Presence: who of those in our lives are the gifty types vs presence over presents.
2. Winter Wardrobe Simplification: no need to overcomplicate things with expensive wardrobe changes and all the glitz and glam!
3. Traditions Over Trends: identifying the non-negotiables of your holiday decor and focusing on what matters.
4. Good Meal Feels: nourishing the party without the kitchen cram exhaustion.
GIFTS VS. PRESENCE:
Gift giving for adults seems to get trickier and trickier as we get older, especially when buying for those that seem to have it all! It becomes not only a mental struggle, but as our list of loved ones grows, it becomes a financial one as well. So why not shake things up a bit? Instead of buying Uncle Bill another tie or Auntie Betsy another bottle of wine, try turning it into a game instead. Holiday gift games are plentiful these days and reduce your buying list while increasing the interactive fun adding amazing memories to any holiday gathering!
Here are a few of my favourite gift exchange games to start you off:
1. The White Elephant - Everyone brings a gift that is suitable for the majority of the group. Before opening, everyone draws a number from a hat to determine the order of the gift grab. Person #1 opens whatever gift they want from the pile and everyone after that gets to choose between stealing one of the already opened gifts or opening a new one.
2. Simple Secret Santa - Weeks before your holiday celebration, everyone's name gets put in a hat OR you can use one of those fancy online automated draw systems to keep it completely confidential. Each person gets a name and then buys that person a gift. On the day of, everyone opens and gets to guess who bought them the gift.
3. Lucky Last - This one is a little different in that not everyone walks away with a gift, but everyone joins in the experience. It’s also a little unique in that it gives the opportunity for a pricier gift because everyone in attendance can pitch in - if 20 people are attending and everyone commits to $20 contribution - that's A LOT of wiggle room for something extra special! One might decide to buy 2 or 3 presents with the loot to keep the game going longer. The host is usually the one who buys the gift and wraps it. And when I say wrap it, I mean wrap it over and over and over and over and oooovvvvvver again! The more layers the better. Now, when it’s time to open it up, sit in a circle and each person unwraps one layer. The person who unwraps the last layer gets to keep the gift!
Additionally, I think we often put way too much pressure on ourselves to find the "perfect" gift for those special people in our lives. Let’s face it—sometimes our best friends have expensive tastes or already seem to have everything! So why not give the gift of time instead? The gift of quality time is full of treasured memories that last a lifetime. Almost certainly those closest to you, just want to be close to you. So try just carving out some uninterrupted connection time. At the end of the day, it’s not about the cost or the gift itself; it’s about the presence of the ones we love. It's the small things that can bring us the most joy!That brings me to our next point! At 56 years old, I have lost many loved ones so I cherish the time I get to spend with the people in my life over gifting like I once did before!. Planning a coffee date, a special night out, a mini vacation, or a trip of a lifetime. Those memories will last forever!If you are a “Gifter” that’s great too! I still love giving people that special item I found in the random shop I stopped in along my travels. As you know it isn’t about the actual gift you give, it's much more than that! It is the thought you put into what it means to them, what they like, their favourite colour, food or wine. Take a little breath and with some careful thought you will get them that perfect something they will hold close to their heart! Make it something you choose to do over something you feel you have to do. Find the pleasure in the little things.
WINTER WARDROBE SIMPLIFICATION:
I love dressing up for a special occasion and find a lot of joy in finding the perfect outfit, however, I know this isn’t a sentiment shared by all. I know a few of you might actually find it anxiety-inducing to primp and polish or make investment after investment in various outfits for all the different parties and social events over the holidays.
So fret not, just keep it simple.
Here are a few quick tips that might help you with your winter wardrobe this year:
1. If your different events have different people, for example, your annual family dinner vs your business holiday shindig- just wear the same thing - no one will notice - I promise!
2. If you’re down with recycling your most flattering little black dress, mix up your accessories to change the vibe. Switch up your hair, incorporate a different scarf, earrings, dangling jewels or even some really wild shoes to draw the attention towards the accessories over your base outfit.
3. If you're a festive person you might even decide to make a trip to the Dollar Store and grab some Christmas decor to pin in your hair. Or incorporate a battery powered strand of lights as a belt, necklace or hair piece.
4. If you’re a super traditional person, why not make your holiday adornment an annual commitment, one that people love and expect… bust out a super silly ‘ugly holiday sweater’ with an oversized Rudolph on the front with an absurdly large glowing nose. You can find these in the holiday section in most thrift stores this time of year and it is so fun hunting the right one down!
There is absolutely no need to stress over expensive wardrobe changes. I will again say, thrift shops and such have all kinds of gently used clothing to choose from! It is easy to find simpler outfits that are easily ‘zhuzh’d up’.
TRADITIONS OVER TRENDS:
I’ll start this section by reminding you to consider what is truly important to you! With all the hype of the season and holiday advertisements on trends and cool new products at an all time high, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. It just seems like society pushes us more and more every year to upgrade to fancier lights, trending Christmas tree decorations and well, alllll the things.
However, traditions hold unique meanings to each of us and focusing on maintaining what is most important can really take a pressure off keeping up with societal expectations of what the holidays should be. As a child, I was the only granddaughter on my mom’s side for the first 14 years of my life—yes, I was a bit spoiled! Honestly, mostly with time and love as my grandparents couldn't afford a lot, and that was ok by me! It was never about the gifts; it was about the time we spent together and the traditions we shared. My mom transformed every inch of our home into a Christmas wonderland, with colorful lights, Santas and bells, handmade ornaments, and icicles hung meticulously, one by one.
As our family grew and I began to have kids of my own, it became more and more apparent that it was about maintaining the traditions that once were and creating new ones together. And it was the old decorations that had been around since I was a kid that had the most magical presence during our holiday festivities than the new shiny ones. Often we worry so much about keeping up with the times and upgrading and updating that we can forget what's truly important - the pieces that tie the years and memories together.
There are a variety of ways that you can bringing the newness and still honor the times passed. For example, a friend of mine has a tradition with her family where every year they make a new decoration for their tree. This means their entire tree is adorned with something from all the years passed, an eclectic collection of memories and love all lit up year to year.
Sink in to what you have and try not to get lost in the hustle and bustle of all the things you could have or should do. This is your holiday season and make it the way you choose.
GOOD MEAL FEELS:
While Christmas often revolves around gifts, decorations, and planning the perfect outfit, it is impossible to forget about the food! The breaking of bread is a well known tradition for everyone, it brings people together and ties in the entire experience of the holidays. However, if you have ever been or plan to be the host of any holiday event, it is hard to ignore the price and time investment it takes to pull the whole thing together.
So here’s the deal - don’t be afraid to tap into your guest list to make it all come together. Delegate! Think of the nostalgic shortbread your Mom makes, the stuffing your Dad perfects every year or the salad your daughter brings that is sooooo good there’s never enough and incorporate their kitchen magic into the joy of the season. I know some of you may have the belief that hosting means taking it all on, however, believe me when I say people love knowing you are craving their fixin’s and will be all too happy to bring along a special side that only they can make. In addition, this means that you get a little more wiggle room when it comes to time and money for the rest of your holiday planning… reducing your stress and making you more present for the day of the event. It is a win-win-win across the board.
On the flip side, when you are attending other people’s hosted events and are asked to bring your fancy dip or special desert, do yourself a favour and batch cook! More likely than not, this same special addition would be welcome at various occasions, so save yourself the time and energy at coming up with varying options to bring and prep. Whatever your traditions may be, remember this: plan ahead, cook what you can in advance, and don’t hesitate to ask everyone to bring a dish! That way, you’re not overwhelmed with all the prep, and you can focus on enjoying the day. Forget about perfection—no one’s here for that; they’re here to share in the day’s memories with you!
While putting this Blog together it brought many things to light for me as well. Reminiscing about the past, thinking about those no longer with us, the distinct smell Christmas brings, the yummy recipes and most of all the LOVE!
The Holiday season can be stressful, there is no doubt. But you can do your best to take some of the stress away by making your lists, prepping the food, scheduling the parties and buying the presents a little bit at a time. Getting a start on this will help you alleviate some of the stress and overwhelm.Always remember to Take ME Time, no matter what!!! You can’t keep going if your tank is empty. Take that breath, go for a walk, maybe a bubble bath, get a massage, do some yoga, or what about decluttering your space to serve you best?Do what YOU CAN! Spend what you are comfortable with, make your favourite recipes that bring you the most joy, decorate your house as little or as extravagant as you want to, stick with the traditions you have had for all your life or maybe, just maybe add in a new tradition to change things up!
I spent some time this year putting together a freebie to help you plan ahead, it’s called the 2024 Holiday Planner: Calm Over Chaos. Click the download button below and have it sent your way, remember the sooner you access this for yourself the better! It is full of some great planning tactics that you can adapt for other big events in your life too!!
