Are you stuck in a rut... ? Crossing your fingers hoping everything goes smooth, because if it doesn't turn around, you may just loose your mind!
Have you experienced an UPSET in your life, that you do not know how to navigate and are stuck on what you are going to next?
That was me!! I totally get it!!
About 3 years ago, I had to choose to live my life differently.
Here's my back story...
Turning the clock back a few years... it's 2021 and well, Covid, UGH!!!
This was also the year that I lost both my parents... first, my Dad in September and then, 58 days later, my Mom passed away.
My parents meant the world to me, we did absolutely everything together. I went to my parents for love and support always, my Dad was even my very best business resource as he worked everyday on his own business until the day he left us.
Our family has always been extremely close, I grew up as an only child to later have 4 children of my own. With both my parents suddenly gone, I became the matriarch and 'HEAD' of the family. What was I to do??? How was I going to step into these roles and fill the shoes of my loving parents??
Well, first I panicked - and compared to how things were prior to these big life changes, I'd say I went off the rails. Not tooooo badly, but enough so that I needed to make steps to ensure that this wasn't how I was going to live the rest of my life!
I was drinking to mask my emotions, eating on the run, vacant when it came to spending time with my husband, my kids and my young grandbabies. My time management and coping skills were sinking me instead of helping me swim. Change needed to be on the horizon or this ship was going down.
So I sought out a coach... she changed my life, which saved my life!!
She showed me a path to a new world and as it was revealed to me, I chose to walk it.
Allow me to explain...
I am a sensitive, an empath if you will and my core wants to nurture. However, how I was showing up was as a 'yes-woman' and a 'people pleaser', putting others before myself because that is who I thought I was suppose to be in order to live my best life and be the best version of myself. It became a survival mode for me, living day to day, surviving but never truly thriving and never really giving it a second thought. Now, that isn't to say that I wasn't living a good life, or that I didn't experience happiness, follow my passions or make happy memories through beautiful experiences. But there was something missing, I felt a void or a lack. So other than the loss of my parents, where was this void sensation coming from?
When my parents passed, I began to ask myself an onslaught of questions. Who am I, now that my parents are gone? Who will I go to for support in life and business without them to lean into and consult? How will I perfect those family recipes without my Mom to go to for all the yummy secrets? I had to internalize all of this and figure it out on my own so that I could move forward into this new existence I found myself in - which was not easy as I was still pretty raw from all the difficult emotions I was feeling.
Of course losing people in your life is one of the most difficult things one will go through. AND we get to decide how that goes! Somedays I cry all day, still. Other days I smile when remembering the wonderful times we shared, or seeing that quirky little laugh my Dad would have around my kids and grandbabies!
With the support of my cherished coach, I came to figure out something profound, I GET TO CHOOSE HOW MY LIFE GOES! I am the only one in control of ME! Feel the feels, express the emotions, touch it, and let it go! I like to say this "Am I going to sit in my shit, or am I going to strive for the life I get to live"
I am Vicki, I am a confident, determined and inspiring badass woman!! That is who I am and who I get to be even on my worst day
